My greatest fear...

I live in fear of my phone. This may sound completely stupid but for me it is a serious issue. I live in fear of my phone because as soon as a certain person [who we shall name Bob for the sake of this rant] wakes up he texts me. He doesn't even text me because he has something to say, he just texts for the sake of texting...AT 9AM! I DON'T BLOODY WELL CONSIDER WAKING UP UNTIL 12!

I get this every single day so I text him back when I get out of bed and tell him I'd appreciate it if he didn't text me until after 2pm as I could still be asleep. Does he listen? NO!

Not only is it the ritual morning text I have to put up with. He's the kinda person that will text you every 5 minutes until you reply. I will be sitting there eating my dinner and in a space of 15 minutes Bob will have sent me 3 texts! It drives me insane. He's always texting me. I don't mind people texting me, I actually love texting people when we have a proper conversation going on but he doesn't have a proper conversation going on. He doesn't even say "hi, how are you?" He says something spazzified relating to a week old conversation we had. The most recent, and his apparent favourite, being "Pirate pawrn". I get woken up at 9am just so he can be a spaz and say "PIRATE PAWRN! LOOOOOOOL!" YEH IT WAS FUNNY AT THE TIME BUT YOU MADE IT SO UNFUNNY IT'S DIRE!

It's got to the stage that when I hear my text ring tone so off I feel like I die a little bit inside. Half the time I don't even have my phone with me just so I don't have to read some idiotic text with no meaning or humour in it.

But not having my phone with me doesn't solve my problem...ohhhh noooo! Because he has fucking MSN! As soon as I come online "HEY!" I want to throw my laptop to the floor and curl up in the corner crying. He is one of my good mates but he has pushed me to the point of having to block him on MSN when I can't face a mundane, pointless conversation. I am a prisoner on my own MSN, appearing offline 60% of the time because I have people I DON'T KNOW starting pointless conversations with me. I don't know you. I don't really want to know you. We have nothing in common. I don't know what to talk to you about. You're just wasting space on my menu bar dammit!

When doing a very scientific calculation with a very scientific formula I came to the conclusion that, due to the number of people I do want to talk to in comparison to the number of people I don't want to talk to, it is infact easier to just appear offline than individually block all these people.

It's times like these I actually feel that modern technology is a bit of a curse as it merely makes it harder for me to curl up in a dark corner and be by myself for a few hours. I don't wana turn my phone off because I always hope that I will be contacted by a desired person but this is a bit like tearing down the walls of your castle so your prince will find it easier to get to you. You're just making it easier for your enemies to get to you at the same time. *sighs*

I guess I can just continue to change my phone number and email address for the rest of my life. Yeh...that sounds like a plan...

When fat vegetarians piss me off...

So there I am flicking through channels and OH! What's this? Kill it, cook it, eat it...? Sounds like a good show. Bound to bring up interesting debate and at the same time give me some good cooking ideas for Christmas.

Oh...oh brilliant...here we go again with the annoying alternative girl who of course is vegan. Right well fair enough, some eat meat and some don't...so what are your reasons? What's that...? IT'S NOT FUCKING NATURAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm sorry but if the dinosaurs pussy-footed around the smaller dinos and didn't eat them because...they didn't feel it was natural...well to be honest...THE HUMAN RACE WOULDN'T EXIST! Have you seen lions? They don't skip about picking berries and flowers and munching on them. NO! They fucking well catch their prey, kill it, then mange upon it's fucking flesh! Wanna know why....CAUSE IT'S FUCKING NATURE!

Though I'm not sure what bafoozled me more...her dumb-ass logic behind not eating meat or the fact that she seemed like your stereotypical vegan. Shitty black hair dye clinging to her hair with quite frankly shitty eyeliner stabbed at her general eye area (fer fuck sake learn to apply it properly [and tbh I'd pure ROFL if it wasn't animal friendly makeup]), various piercings to merely add to her scabby "goth" look and random clothing materials thrown at her to give the general aura of an angry hippie! Now don't get me wrong, I love piercings and I have plenty of mates of the gothic genre and am even related to a vegaterian (well...she was vegaterian last time I checked, though she often changes this aspect of her life)! I'm also happy for people to float around being whatever religion or stereotype or whatever they want...but when you go on TV and wave your opinion about in my face....WITH NO BLOODY GOOD REASON BEHIND YOUR CHOICE then that...well that just pisses me off! So yeh, you may feel what I'm saying is merely a pathetically opinionated teen who is prolly just typing this shit cause she feels that being loud and in-your-face is just what she's meanta be doing and maybe it is if you look at it logically but I'm sure there's someone out there who agree with me....there's gotta be. I'm rare...but not that rare!

And one last thing...if you don't eat meat....why are you so frigging fat?!?!?! EH?