Thursday, 23 July 2009

Do my bewbz look big in this?

Tonight, out of what seemed to be sheer boredom, I found myself watching a program [though I can't remember the name] about one teenager [17] and one only-just-teenager [13] planning to have breast implants. I'm gonna cut straight to the chase on this one. It's no longer a question of why do these girls want to have this surgery, it's a question of how! How the hell has society allowed itself to get to the stage where girls who haven't even had their periods yet are planning to spend thousands of pounds on cosmetic surgery. And we ain't talking wonky noses or 6 fingers on each hand instead of 5, those are things that [although surgery isn't necessarily the option] aren't going to change in time. BUT BREASTS? AT THAT AGE?

Well I'm gonna throw in a little bit of my own past experience here. When I was 13/14 I was well into 32A territory. I stood in front of the mirror thinking "I want to be the kinda girl who doesn't care about beauty so why am I so disappointed with my body?" I had it drilled into my head that guys like girls with big boobs, that's what's sexy and most of all that's what makes you a grown-up [a grown-up woman, I'll emphasise that point in case there are any confused boys out there]. I was convinced that this would be my downfall. My flat chest would push the boys away and leave me alone and unloved at the age of 55 unmarried with 27 cats! I WAS GOING TO BE THE CAT LADY OF MY TOWN! I was convinced that guys just wouldn't find me attractive and I was completely embarrassed by the fact that if a guy was to put his hands on my boobs they would just slip right down onto my knees [his hands, not my boobs]! I never took a serious thought into plastic surgery though, I guess I just hoped that some genetics from my muma's side would get to work and give me a little something more in the breast department. I'm glad I had more patience cause even though development was slow I did eventually end up with 34B boobs that I'm damn right proud of. They ain't huge but that's great cause these are the size I wanted =3 I guess, looking back on it, when I was younger it just felt like they weren't gonna grow. People kept saying to give it time and not be so concerned cause I was so young. I never listened but...I guess they were right. I also realise now that boobs aren't everything. They're barely anything. I still had guys interested in me even though I was flat-chested, I can go on a trampoline without fear of knocking myself out with a stray boob and even now I have guys [ guy] telling me that he's not interested in big boobs and that I look good the way I am. So, if big boobs aren't everything then...why do young girls think they are?

I think most of this boob envy came about from the stereotypical idea girls get of teen boys watching porn. When you think of porn you do get the image of your average glamour model with giant fake boobs, a pout that could only come from a needle and so much airbrushing that this human suddenly becomes a plastic object of men's fantasies. If that's what turns your guy on then how can you compete? I don't really know how a guy's mind works but I do know that porn stars and glamour models are nothing more than that - porn stars and glamour models. They stay in the pages sticky magazines and sheltered behind the dirty screens of their computers in the land of fantasy but in the real world it's real girls they want. It's even been shown in UK studies that 85% of men wouldn't even know if a girl had a boob job or not and 15% didn't like fake boobs at all, so what's the point? Why are girls as young as 11 still planning the special day where they go under the knife? Is it because celebrities with more money than talent are being praised and adored for being part of the young and rich Hollywood crowd? Is it because they get breast implants then get praised for their brilliant figure? Is it because that is the image that is being portrayed as "success" in the media? I can't honestly tell you what is going on in the mind of every individual teen girl in the world, I can only tell my thoughts and my opinions. But surely if 1/10 teenage girls want breast implants there must be some kind of common theme?

I'm not against plastic surgery and I'm honestly a fan of plenty of people who have admitted to having cosmetic surgery, Holly Madison being one of them [A to D-cup and rhinoplasty]. I think she is beautiful and was beautiful before her surgery but it was her decision, it made her happy and it did her no harm. When it's properly looked into and done correctly it does no harm but isn't 11 a little young to be making these decisions or am I just becoming old fashioned?

In a final note, I’d just like to say that Bebo and sites like that are being littered with groups for “good looking” people. “
Truli You Are Beautiful”, “DEFINITION OF SEXY PEOPLE”, “Stunners 09” and “BebosHawtest” to name a few. I can say now that these groups don’t contain pictures of anyone I would ever consider hawt. All I see is utter fakeness, and it isn’t even hawt-fake…it’s the kinda fake that if you leave it out in the sun, go away for 20 minutes then come back nothing would be left other than an orange puddle and bad weave! Those guys with mile high muscles and badly bleached tips in their hair…that just doesn’t do it for me. I’ll take the skinny pale guy with piercing and tattoos ANY DAY! =3

Friday, 19 June 2009

My greatest fear...

I live in fear of my phone. This may sound completely stupid but for me it is a serious issue. I live in fear of my phone because as soon as a certain person [who we shall name Bob for the sake of this rant] wakes up he texts me. He doesn't even text me because he has something to say, he just texts for the sake of texting...AT 9AM! I DON'T BLOODY WELL CONSIDER WAKING UP UNTIL 12!

I get this every single day so I text him back when I get out of bed and tell him I'd appreciate it if he didn't text me until after 2pm as I could still be asleep. Does he listen? NO!

Not only is it the ritual morning text I have to put up with. He's the kinda person that will text you every 5 minutes until you reply. I will be sitting there eating my dinner and in a space of 15 minutes Bob will have sent me 3 texts! It drives me insane. He's always texting me. I don't mind people texting me, I actually love texting people when we have a proper conversation going on but he doesn't have a proper conversation going on. He doesn't even say "hi, how are you?" He says something spazzified relating to a week old conversation we had. The most recent, and his apparent favourite, being "Pirate pawrn". I get woken up at 9am just so he can be a spaz and say "PIRATE PAWRN! LOOOOOOOL!" YEH IT WAS FUNNY AT THE TIME BUT YOU MADE IT SO UNFUNNY IT'S DIRE!

It's got to the stage that when I hear my text ring tone so off I feel like I die a little bit inside. Half the time I don't even have my phone with me just so I don't have to read some idiotic text with no meaning or humour in it.

But not having my phone with me doesn't solve my problem...ohhhh noooo! Because he has fucking MSN! As soon as I come online "HEY!" I want to throw my laptop to the floor and curl up in the corner crying. He is one of my good mates but he has pushed me to the point of having to block him on MSN when I can't face a mundane, pointless conversation. I am a prisoner on my own MSN, appearing offline 60% of the time because I have people I DON'T KNOW starting pointless conversations with me. I don't know you. I don't really want to know you. We have nothing in common. I don't know what to talk to you about. You're just wasting space on my menu bar dammit!

When doing a very scientific calculation with a very scientific formula I came to the conclusion that, due to the number of people I do want to talk to in comparison to the number of people I don't want to talk to, it is infact easier to just appear offline than individually block all these people.

It's times like these I actually feel that modern technology is a bit of a curse as it merely makes it harder for me to curl up in a dark corner and be by myself for a few hours. I don't wana turn my phone off because I always hope that I will be contacted by a desired person but this is a bit like tearing down the walls of your castle so your prince will find it easier to get to you. You're just making it easier for your enemies to get to you at the same time. *sighs*

I guess I can just continue to change my phone number and email address for the rest of my life. Yeh...that sounds like a plan...

Thursday, 18 June 2009

When fat vegetarians piss me off...

So there I am flicking through channels and OH! What's this? Kill it, cook it, eat it...? Sounds like a good show. Bound to bring up interesting debate and at the same time give me some good cooking ideas for Christmas.

Oh...oh we go again with the annoying alternative girl who of course is vegan. Right well fair enough, some eat meat and some don' what are your reasons? What's that...? IT'S NOT FUCKING NATURAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm sorry but if the dinosaurs pussy-footed around the smaller dinos and didn't eat them because...they didn't feel it was natural...well to be honest...THE HUMAN RACE WOULDN'T EXIST! Have you seen lions? They don't skip about picking berries and flowers and munching on them. NO! They fucking well catch their prey, kill it, then mange upon it's fucking flesh! Wanna know why....CAUSE IT'S FUCKING NATURE!

Though I'm not sure what bafoozled me more...her dumb-ass logic behind not eating meat or the fact that she seemed like your stereotypical vegan. Shitty black hair dye clinging to her hair with quite frankly shitty eyeliner stabbed at her general eye area (fer fuck sake learn to apply it properly [and tbh I'd pure ROFL if it wasn't animal friendly makeup]), various piercings to merely add to her scabby "goth" look and random clothing materials thrown at her to give the general aura of an angry hippie! Now don't get me wrong, I love piercings and I have plenty of mates of the gothic genre and am even related to a vegaterian (well...she was vegaterian last time I checked, though she often changes this aspect of her life)! I'm also happy for people to float around being whatever religion or stereotype or whatever they want...but when you go on TV and wave your opinion about in my face....WITH NO BLOODY GOOD REASON BEHIND YOUR CHOICE then that...well that just pisses me off! So yeh, you may feel what I'm saying is merely a pathetically opinionated teen who is prolly just typing this shit cause she feels that being loud and in-your-face is just what she's meanta be doing and maybe it is if you look at it logically but I'm sure there's someone out there who agree with me....there's gotta be. I'm rare...but not that rare!

And one last thing...if you don't eat meat....why are you so frigging fat?!?!?! EH?